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233: Colossus’s Magical Death Stench

In a very, very topical turn of events, this week’s episode is all about diseases and viruses in comic books. So, from the safety of our various bunkers (no, really, we’re all recording remotely, just like a real podcast!), we bring you the sickest episode yet. Do we talk about the Legacy Virus? Uh, you know it. The Clench? Yessuh. D…Death Stench? Yes, though I am honestly not sure why.

Heck, even our Warmup is disease infested, as we do the nastiest Character Storm to date. That, and an earful of news about the many shakeups that the comics industry is going through right now!

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232: Hex Hex Lightning Bolt Battling Covid 19

Self Isolation! Social Distancing! Disease Lockdown! How do i get my comics?!?! With all this craziness going on, we aren’t able to do a ‘regular’ stupid episode of the podcast…. so we’ve put together a ‘Special’ stupid episode of the podcast! Outtakes! Bloopers! Unreleased bits! Hilarity! We’re here to make you laugh and be silly in these weird, strange, dire toilet paper endtimes. So join us for a 30 minute rocket ride into our brains and laugh it up, fuzzballs, ’cause we’re using our HEX HEX LIGHTNING BOLT to battle COVID 19!

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231 – But Does He Have a Butt Gun?

Our semi annual…er… bi-annual…. or…. whenever we fell it it….March Madness is back!!! We each secretly choose characters and then throw them into a round robin tournament… a battle to the last!! 8 comic characters whittled down to ONE CHAMPION!!! Several robots! One X-man! Two Japanese sourced warriors! One weird guy that does ‘criss cross apple sauce’! One symbol of a country! And one in fishnets that will throat punch you into next week! Join us for this battle to the last, as we ask ‘But does he have a butt gun?’

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230: So Let’s Talk About the Starfox in the Room

Starfox. Starfox! STARFOX! (Not that one.) Let’s not mince words: Eros the Eternal, Avenger, brother of Thanos, and defendant of lawsuits, is what you could call… problematic. “The power to stimulate the pleasure centre of the brain” maybe doesn’t play so well in 2020. So it’s up to us to fix him! We re-evaluate, refresh, re-cast, and even fully reboot the Titan known as Starfox to tell some stories that maybe won’t make you feel deeply uncomfortable!

But there’s more! Batman takes the stage – ninja style! Nathan Fillion’s arms may or may not fall off, boy! Michael Golden’s Micronauts gets a very macro release! And Merk quizzes Bry & Kyle on their ludicrous Marvel acronyms!

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229: A Batman who Washes His Ass

Holy smokes, did you know there’s a new Batman movie in the works right now, helmed by Matt Reeves and starring Robert Pattinson? So I guess there won’t be anyone else playing Batman after this, he’s the last one, nobody else will ever play Batman.

Despite this, we do our best to recast Batman and his allies and enemies, just in case they do ever decide to make another Batman movie. Y’know, just in case!

Plus: Dan DiDio’s ousting from DC, all the hot ToyFair news, the cast reveal for Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe: Revelation, and Kyle tells us about The Fourth Planet, a comic series from someone we aren’t attempting to fource a bitter rivalry with.

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228: They Finally Killed Damascusdy Dragony

This week, we’ve got the power! POWER RECORDS, that is! We’re doing the riff-along thing again as we react to a weird Spider-Man LP story from 1975: “Invasion of the Dragon Men”! What is the secret of Draco, the Dragon-Man from the skies? Why is Peter Parker tweaking? Who is the 80-year-old chain smoker college student? How many voices can Rodney, the only Power Records voice actor, pull off? All this and more!!



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227: Free With the Kisses!

It’s Valentine’s Day, Zero Issues style!! This week it’s short but sweet, as we dig deep into classic romance comics to perform a Dramatic Reading you… won’t…… forget. A dance couple in the big city! A smooth club owner with his eyes on the prize! A creep with a gullet full of chicken bones! And a big twist that adds a new element to the whole concept of reading comics out loud! Doesn’t that sound romantic!? (N… not really!)

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226: I Shall Become a Circus

Cue up Entrance of the Gladiators, because we’re off to the circus this week! Th…that’s what the circus song is called. Kind of a badass name for what is essentially Boy, Clowns are Goofy: The Song. Anyway, yeah, circus! From the Flying Graysons to the Circus of Crime (to Golden Age superhero costumes being inspired by circus strongmen, which we don’t really talk about, whoops), comics and circuses have a long, shared history. A history that we mock.

Plus: DMZ, Bloodshot, and more in the News! A brand new card-based Warmup that you’ll love! And many, many instances of Bry saying “daddy.”

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225: As Long as Jon Cryer gets Punched in the Face

Let’s ARROWVERSE the %^$# out of this! Crisis! The end of Arrow (Bry is ecstatic!). A spoiler filled exploration of the CW trainwreck that we kinda like…. kinda….. plus so much more! The Marvel Hulu debacle! Obi Wan does Weekend at Bernies! Old Man Picard! Old Man Gambit! CW beard! Spectre Crackhead! Luke Wilson is hot again! We go gagga over Brandon Routh’s hot bod! Kyle has a new game and it’s got Burt Ward all over it. And real life intrudes! Kyle is stuck on the highway and calls it in! Will he get to the show?!?! Will he make it out alive!?!? Or will he be the shell of a man?!?!? Tune in! Same ZERO ISSUE time! Same ZERO ISSUE channel!

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224: I Had an Answer So Quickly

Lightning Round! Y’all know what this means: we’re pingponging through topics like a trio of Speedballs.  Two quizzes, a marry-screw-kill, talking Matt Reeves’ The Batman villains, all the Stephen Dorff news you can handle, toy-talk, and even some sound effects provided by a toy laser gun that Merk got for Christmas. This episode literally has everything.

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