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338: All the Batmen

Batmen! Batmen! Batmen! Say it three times in a mirror while holding a baby robin and a bat in your pants … and nothing happens. Well maybe rabies. That’s another urban legend.
This however is the legend of the Batman! Or Batmen, rather, as we discuss all the bat-movies and all the bat-people. We ask questions like ‘What do Batman movies keep getting wrong about Batman?’ or ‘Which movie makes Gotham Gothamy enough?’ And we go through a series of hard hitting questions, ranking the Batmen to deem who is on top! Questions of batmobiles, who has the best butt, the best nipples and who would win in a fight (and many more ridiculously insightful tidbits)? So join us to get your Gorshin Portion, a peek at the Gotham waterslide, and figure out what’s your Keaton number?

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335: Sub Saunders and Dirk and Durk and Dick

It’s dramatic reading time once again and BOY do we have a doozy! An underwater doozy with SUB SAUNDERS 10,000 years in the future as he travels to Atlantis to ….. kill frogmen…. to ensure their slavery? We have no idea. But we had fun diving in! Join us!

And READ ALONG with us using the slideshow below! Heck yes, public domain!

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322: This Dumb Place

What a year! Let’s talk about in this very loose episode. Come along!

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319: 400 Heads in a Bag

Three grown men talking about action figures, that’s what audiences crave, right? Because that’s what we’re doing this week! We lament over the loss of REAL Hulk Hands, and come up with some great new toys for kids of all ages, from 18 to 118!

But first: news about Dark Horse taking over Star Wars, Danny Devito taking on Penguin writing duties, and JK Simmons taking over the world. And then, a very special quiz from our very special birthday boy, Bry!

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316: Celery Day Stalkslam

For thousands of years, the debate has raged: Christmas? Halloween? Which is the supreme holiday? Today we solve this decisively, once and for all, ion the typical manner of making a bunch of characters, each representing one of the two holidays, fight!

But first! We’ve got more “news” about the Ayer Cut, as well as the Diamond Distribution Hack and a new comic-based cartoon that just came out! Plus, we’re covering all of the Disney+ Day Marvel stuff in the Warmup!

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300: Somebody Says Something Stupid and That’s the Title

WOW!! 300 episodes!! It’s a big moment for these three little nerd boys, so to celebrate talking about comics for 300 maniacal podcast episodes, we do something a little different and ply deep into each other’s psyches with a list of questions….. to discover just how geeky we are. So 5 questions each from the three of us and then we put the call out…. ‘Ask us anything! Give us your queries!’…. and BOY, DID YOU!!! And we answered ALL OF THEM!!!! Plus: if you sent in a question, you were entered to win an art prize pack from the three amigos here! So join us, won’t you, for a (slightly) extra long episode of wackiness and reflection and deep dive comics madness! (and check out our special homage to godfather Todd’s iconic Amazing Spider-Man #300)

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298: It was a Fear Demon

This week’s episode was all about Black Widow and Loki, and had huge spoilers for both, but then a fear demon showed up, and now it’s all about retcons! From Puck originally being 6’6″, to Hal Jordan not really being a dick after all, to Norman Osborn and Gwen Stacy getting all Brazzersy, sometimes comic creators make some very, hmm, interesting choices. So we gripe about them!

Also, more news than you can handle; and in the Warmup, we try to figure out where to put all of these comics before they trap us like Principal Skinner in the classic Simpsons episode “Bart the Murderer”.

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287: Jim Cummings

Chocolate and peanut butter, cats and dogs living together, monkeys fighting lizards, that’s what this episode’s all about! We’re taking things that should not be together, and smashing them against each other like so many…smashy…thingies…

Moon Knight and The Question come to kick ass and chew bubble gum, Samus Aran fights a xenomorph, and Kyle mistakenly believes that Jim Cummings did the voice of Beastly on Care Bears! He didn’t! What a dummo!

Brought to you by our wicked smaht sponsor: Rose N Crantz Coffee! (Use the promo code zeroissues to save 10%!)

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282: The Eye Gouge Episode

This is it, the culmination of our March Madness and August Audness episodes. After crowning eight champions, it’s time for them to square off against each other to decide just who three grown men can argue is the toughest. Who will rise. who will fall, who will pick bits of Jimmy Olsen out of The Maestro’s teeth? Tune in to find out!

This episode brought to you by Rose N Crantz Roasting Co. Use the promo code zeroissues to save 10% off your first coffee order from these wonderful folks!

 

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251: 3 Scary Stories

Hell-o, my little ghoulies and gobloids! It is I, the Crypt Haver, ready to deliver you another tale of… oh, what? It’s a Lightning Round episode? They don’t really talk about scary stuff at all, except for one of the ten segments in the episode? Really? The rest is all about giving super heroes branding slogans, or a weird mid-’80s Avengers issue that Merk read, or a frank discussion of what Batman’s favourite song is?

Well, fine.

I’m still getting paid, right?

(With apologies to Bry: I couldn’t find the knife man you were talking about, so I used the album art for celebrated folk punk band AJJ’s 2011 release, Knife Man)

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