POWER RECORDS COMING THROUGH!!!!
Oh yea. It’s power records time. The 45’s from the 70’s that, oh so weirdly, dramatize comics. In this case Captain America 168 ‘And a Phoenix Shall Arise!!’. It’s a bizarre one… and slightly awkward in parts. Falcon with no wings. Cap a little down on himself and stuck in glue. Hot glue. Hot nazi glue. There’s a mystery unfolding, won’t you join us as we laugh it up?!
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It’s the first ever Zero Issues Newsflash! That’s right, we’re sliding the news into its own separate mini-podcast. Catch up on all of the comic news you’ve missed with us!
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It’s that time…. between Christmas and New Years…. but we’re still feeling festive & fun so we’re doing a CHRISTMAS DRAMATIC READING!!!! Oh yea, and it’s a gooder! ‘I’ll be Doom for Christmas: A Yuletide Fable”. Dr Doom takes over for Santa Claus and wackiness ensues… for us…. This one is pretty dang good. So sit back, take a load off and enjoy! We’ll see you in 2023!!
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We got invited to D23! For real! We definitely didn’t get scammed by a fake email and then drive all the way to Hollywood, only to wind up locked outside of the Disney compound! And we’re definitely not sneaking into the party dressed in the uniforms and/or skins of waiters! And all this we do to bring you, yes YOU, all the corporate-owned mega-franchise news you can handle, because that’s what heroes do.
MCU announcements? We got ‘em! Upcoming Marvel games, and some that aren’t even mobile junk? You know it! And even some non-Disney news about Usagi Yojimbo hopping from IDW back to Dark Horse? Sure, we have that too, why wouldn’t we!? Join us on a wild Disney journey from the secret mascot-infested tunnel system all the way to Kevin Feige’s throne room / D23 stage! And discover which co-host is the jerk who spoils a show for another co-host! Intrigue!!
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The Zero Issues July Vacation Classic Spectacular comes to a close! As the boys try to remember how they got to the blue side of the Moon, enjoy what may be the most classic “classic” of all:
We’re baaaaaaack! And we’ve got all the latest and greatest news from SDCC!
*checks watch*
*checks calendar*
Oh.
Well, we’re still back, and we are still our very charming selves. VERY charming.
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Coming to a theatre near you: crappy tie-in products! This week, we go over some of the best, worst, and most notorious tie-in junk that gets attached to comics and movies: from Baskin Robbins’ Hydra Force Sundae, to Watchmen condoms, to the Howard the Duck call-in line that definitely isn’t a sex thing (and if it is, big whoop, right?); there’s been some real air balls courtesy of our good friends at Synergy Ltd.!
But first! We’ve got Jon Bernthal-adjacent Punisher news (this episode was recorded before the announcement that Netflix was losing its’ Marvel original shows, whoops!), and a fast food-themed CharacterStorm! All that and Grimace!
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Resurrecting seemingly-dead franchises and series is all the rage these days, from Snyder finally getting his Cut, to returning Batmen, Spider-Men and Supermen, to fan campaigns to bring back old favourites as far as the eye can read! We have a chat about this trend and what it means for fandom and creativity, but then get a whole lot less critical as we pitch a bunch of other revivals we may actually see, considering how things are going! We’ve got an All-Punishers Squad! A House of Constantines! The return of REB BROWN! And more! More!!
But first, Kyle pits Merk and Bry against each other in a battle between two random characters! And SUCH NEWS: Image Comics staff unionizes! Dark Horse Comics is bought by a video game developer! Jeff Lemire gets exclusive with Image! Scott Pilgrim becomes an anime! And c’mon, guys, Morbius is never coming out.
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We haven’t seen Shang-Chi yet, so instead we’re doing another exciting LIGHTNING ROUND! Join us for so many mini-topics you’re guaranteed* to find something you love! Comic characters hosting podcasts! A quiz about quizzes! New kid sidekicks for Wolverine! New “Batman ’89” style comics based on long-dead comic movies! A remote-recorded version of a 1991 Marvel Trading Card game! A “Read This Now” profile on “Memetic” by James Tynion IV, Eryk Donovan and Adam Guzowski! Collection treasures that we regret selling or losing! And an all-new segment about comic characters’ kinks! We really ended the episode with that one! Listen, we can prove it!!
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This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.
It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!
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To celebrate the launch of “WHAT IF…?” on Disney+, we cook up some “what if” questions of our own! Come with us to explore alternate worlds where… The Vision was made by Apple or Microsoft! The Phoenix Force chose Wolverine over Cyclops! The Venom symbiote took over the Fantastic Four! And much more!! At least twice as many more.
But there’s also news! Such news! Substack is the new Image as the hottest creators make the leap to a new platform! The world reacts as Tim Drake, A Robin, explores his sexuality! And hey, did anyone ask for a quiz about Uatu the Watcher?? Because you’d better believe we’ve got it, friends!
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