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344: He’s Got a Tubular Spatial, Baby!

It’s LIGHTNING ROUND TIME!
Krackakoom?
A bevy of short topics this week such as the recent Marvel Banner of War Hulk/Thor battle (in which we discuss what Celestial bits are floating in space), Kyle runs a game of SUPERFIGHT where comic’s most powerful square off…. with guns? Bry challenges the boys to bring back cancelled animated comic shows and Merk runs a game for a multi company crossover… Jughead, Stardust and a Green Lantern ring, anyone? Which characters are dog people and which are cat people? We must answer this burning question! Battle of the Alfreds! And EVEN more in this efficiently packed episode!

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338: All the Batmen

Batmen! Batmen! Batmen! Say it three times in a mirror while holding a baby robin and a bat in your pants … and nothing happens. Well maybe rabies. That’s another urban legend.
This however is the legend of the Batman! Or Batmen, rather, as we discuss all the bat-movies and all the bat-people. We ask questions like ‘What do Batman movies keep getting wrong about Batman?’ or ‘Which movie makes Gotham Gothamy enough?’ And we go through a series of hard hitting questions, ranking the Batmen to deem who is on top! Questions of batmobiles, who has the best butt, the best nipples and who would win in a fight (and many more ridiculously insightful tidbits)? So join us to get your Gorshin Portion, a peek at the Gotham waterslide, and figure out what’s your Keaton number?

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332: Isn’t Batman a Verb Now?

It’s a big ol’ bat heavy episode this week! We’re talking odd, strange, adorable and down right wrong versions of Batman, as we rate them out of 5 Batmen on how Batman they Batman…. knowwadimean? We each bring a few batties to the table…..and some of them are pretty mite-ey! Wink! Plus we do a warm up creating a brand new Bat-villain …. out of houseplants…. and malicious compliance… it’ll make sense, we promise. All that and news about, well, guess! Batman spin offs on HBO. And other non-bat news about Spiderman, Finn Wolfhard and a certain Boys star arrested in Spain! Join us as we batman it up! 

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327: KRAKAKOOM!

The lightning strikes once again! Last week was a longer episode, so this week it’s all random rapid-fire topics! We’re pit in a fight-inventing grudgematch between Prince Robot IV and Wolfsbane, under caaa-razy circumstances, and we decide the victor! We recast “The Eternals” with the great comedy actors of literally any era! Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a movie we think you should watch… now! Bry quizzes us with which Spider-Verse variants are real or fake! Kyle gets in on the quiz game as we have to guess if a list of characters were alive or dead in the year 2000! And then Merk steals the quizmaster crown to test our knowledge about what bizarre Defenders villains existed or not! All this and… wait, no, that’s it. That’s the show. It’s plenty of show!

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318: At the Speed of Snowplow!

Winter in comic books is kinda… weird, right? Like it rarely happens, and when it does it always seems to be over after a single issue or story-arc. And as semi-northern Canadians, we have a podcast episode to pick with that! But as semi-northern Canadians, we also appreciate it whenever it happens! So join us on a wintery journey through the snow-filled superhero comics that stuck with us (we’ve got TMNT *and* X-Men!), the inadequacies of superhero costumes in winter (tell us, HOW do Spider-Man’s lenses not constantly fog up when he’s wearing a mask?), and we pitch some new comic story ideas to make up for an otherwise lack of winter realism. Plus: Hulk in a snowsuit!! That sounds brrrrr– uh, great!

But… what’s this!? We give wintertime “normal jobs” to three random comic characters: Moon Knight vs. Hockey Parents! Quicksilver turns into a tow truck… Turbo Teen style, even! Fantomah helps (and causes) icy car accidents! And we talk about all the wildest news, from an abruptly-cancelled Luke Cage miniseries, a new comic about Starship Hulk, and Saga’s live-action debut!

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311: Man Man and Bat Bat

It’s the spooky month and we’re feelin’ like it’s time for a little power records! Y’know, those amazing comics on a 45 record from the 70’s?
Time for MAN-BAT! Or is it MAN-MAN? Or BAT-BAT? Listen and (probably don’t) find out!
So much action! So much weird dialogue!
Hear the origin of Man-Bat and how horrible he is to his wife.
Hear about the puppy gang and our short obsession with RC Cola.
And our Lil’ Zero spinoff series!
This and so much more (well, not THAT much more. It’s a short episode.)
Join us, won’t you? 

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309: The New Fifty-Zero

The New 52 debuted 10 years ago – more like the OLD 52, am I right?? – so it’s time to take a look back on its impact, its legacy, its highs and lows, what can be learned from it, why it was better than we often give it credit for, and… what’s thiiiis? TWO quizzes worth of trivia!? All that and so much more – so join us in a New 52 retrospective that will (among other things) reveal the chilling secret of S&M Solomon Grundy!!

But first! We react to the new Sandman trailer! We discuss the duelling copyright ownership lawsuit(s) between Marvel creators vs. Marvel the company! And after the mind-blowing revelation that Chris Pratt will play Mario, we cast classic video game characters (and recast Mario) among the famous MCU actors! Who will be Ms. Pac Man? WHO!?

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308: Magneto of Green Gables

It’s a big election week this week in ol’ Canada, so the boys have decided to talk politics! No! Come back! It’s us! We’re ridiculous about it and it all involves comic books!
How would Batman vote?
What comic characters would take over & run a small eastern block nation?
And we discuss Magneto taking Prince Edward Island for his own.
This and SO MUCH MORE!!! Really… there’s a lot.
We warm up with a new game of ‘Explain this to me’ where Merk asks the others to explain things they know little (or nothing) about.
And of course the news! Mignola returns! Marvel Action Line does not!
Captain Krakoa…. is a thing. A Twisted Metal tv show is on the way! And Hit Monkey is actually going to happen!
So take some ‘Mackie Time’ and hang with us for a bit. 

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306: Third Time’s the Swarm!

We haven’t seen Shang-Chi yet, so instead we’re doing another exciting LIGHTNING ROUND! Join us for so many mini-topics you’re guaranteed* to find something you love! Comic characters hosting podcasts! A quiz about quizzes! New kid sidekicks for Wolverine! New “Batman ’89” style comics based on long-dead comic movies! A remote-recorded version of a 1991 Marvel Trading Card game! A “Read This Now” profile on “Memetic” by James Tynion IV, Eryk Donovan and Adam Guzowski! Collection treasures that we regret selling or losing! And an all-new segment about comic characters’ kinks! We really ended the episode with that one! Listen, we can prove it!!

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305: I Am Iron Perlman

It’s Multiverse Madness this week on Zero Issues!
From a new game called CHARACTER SMASH where we smushy smush two completely unrelated characters together to create new ridiculous (but highly marketable) characters, to the main topic where we each give multiple pitches on new splendiforous multiverse stories! Check out the Archie mirrorverse! See the Wolverine claw frenzy! Batman V Superman:The Legal Drama! The Michael Keatonverse! 3 Hawkeyes and a Jeremy Renner! And so much more (well at least 2 more). All that plus news as Spider-Man:No Way Home leaks! Also some Batman leakage (ew). And hear Bry’s gripping tale of how Hellboy bankrupted Marvel in the 90’s. All true! Really! Listen and find out!

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