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377: Choose Your Own XVenture

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This week, the Zero Issues, uh, gang? Group? Team? Those three dudes play a Choose Your Own Adventure, written by our very own Merk!

After a crazy Mardi Gras, the…fellas, we’re going with fellas wake up on a certain house on Graymalkin Lane in Westchester County, New York. But all is not cool and chill at Xavier’s House, and it’s up to the FELLAS to figure out just what’s going on. Can they save the Professor? Will they be able to crack the code? And who’s that in the kitchen, making two-ingredient Thai food? Turn to page 2 to find out!

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362: Cyclops in Blues Traveler

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Oh boy! Lots going on this week! Here’s the briefo rundowno!
For a warm up we’re invested in bringing you the very vest… er …. best… or worst, rather, in comic costume redesigns. From Nova to Miles Morales, to the Thing, and Gambit. And Cyclops with a harmonica vest? Oh…. we go a little vest heavy. You’ve been warned.
For the main topic we each to a pitch: If Marvel were to restart today, what 5 titles would you begin with and what creative team?
We nerd out a little.
And of course the news! Between James Gunn becoming the DC Monitor, hints of Spielberg talking about a comic movie, Sandman, Agatha casting and a Wonder Man series AND casting and…. oh god…. even more.
It would be a traVESTy if you missed this.
I’m sorry.
I’ll stop.

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355: Sizzle War

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The mutants are a-comin’! But how? How is Marvel going to fit a whole species into their already bloated slate of movies, TV shows, and other assorted bric-a-brac? That’s what we aim to figure out, this week!

But first: we’ve got a heaping helping of Constantine and Warner Bros Discovery news, the first on Paul Levitz and Alan Davis’s upcoming Avengers book, and we get in depth with Merk’s own comic-skewed version of the Pivot Questionnare from Inside the Actors Studio. All that and Merk being so very, very wrong about steak sauce!

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320: The Mole Man and The Pole Man

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It’s that time o’ the season and the boys love to make up their own comic stories…. so …. it’s time for Christmas Comics Pitch! Each of them come up with their own weird and wonderful comic book for the season. From a certain notorious X-Family holiday get together, to a decidedly mutated version of a Christmas classic, to a monstrous adventure for a certain jolly guy and his reindeer, we have your holiday comic fix here. All that and a quiz on a comics legend, and a delightful mishmosh of newsy news! Join us. We’ll bring the nog.

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304: Shuma-Gorath Does Laundry on Mondays

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This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.

It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!

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303: What If… Venom was a Cool Jacket?

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To celebrate the launch of “WHAT IF…?” on Disney+, we cook up some “what if” questions of our own! Come with us to explore alternate worlds where… The Vision was made by Apple or Microsoft! The Phoenix Force chose Wolverine over Cyclops! The Venom symbiote took over the Fantastic Four! And much more!! At least twice as many more.

But there’s also news! Such news! Substack is the new Image as the hottest creators make the leap to a new platform! The world reacts as Tim Drake, A Robin, explores his sexuality! And hey, did anyone ask for a quiz about Uatu the Watcher?? Because you’d better believe we’ve got it, friends!

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296: The Summers Family Deadbeat Dad Reunion

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Our Podcast Dad didn’t send the cheque on time, so this Father’s Day episode is a week late AND we’re talking about the deadbeat dads of comics! Take that! Superhero books have more than their fair share of bad father figures, but what makes one a deadbeat instead of a garden-variety neglectful or abusive A-hole? Which deadbeat super-dad is the deadbeatiest of all? And how many of these disappointments are from the Summers family? (Believe it or not, some aren’t!)

But that’s not all! We’ve got news: a Warren Ellis announcement finally set off a real response to allegations from SoManyOfUs.com; Miles Morales gets a new costume; and Ben Reilly returns to the role of Spider-Man. And then Merk guides Kyle & Bry through the many surprising covers of the Batman 1966 theme song – some you may not believe!

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280: I Collect Weird Children

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Due to some technical difficulties, we’re bringing you back to April of 2020 for this week’s bonus-y style episode. Originally cut from episode 236, hear us discuss leaders in comic books! Who’s good, who’s bad, who’s the man now dog.

 

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250: Magneto’s Mutant-Making Orgasm Machine

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Believe it or not, the year 2000 was 20 years ago! So this week we look back and celebrate the original X-MEN movie! The film that introduced Hugh Jackman (and, to some extent, Wolverine) to the public at large! How does this early Marvel movie hold up since comic movies have evolved so much since? What are the highlights? Who are the actors and characters who never got their due? Make like evolution and leap forward into this episode!!

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236: Wonder Man is Your Responsibility

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This week, we figure out who is the first among first among equals, with a very scientific, Tony Robbins-endorsed, leader-off! Cyclops, Nightwing, Captain America, Storm, Superman, Mister Fantastic, Black Panther: which one would you follow into battle? The answer may shock you!

Plus, we’ve absolutely lost our minds, and the news shows it.

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