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304: Shuma-Gorath Does Laundry on Mondays

This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.

It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!

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303: What If… Venom was a Cool Jacket?

To celebrate the launch of “WHAT IF…?” on Disney+, we cook up some “what if” questions of our own! Come with us to explore alternate worlds where… The Vision was made by Apple or Microsoft! The Phoenix Force chose Wolverine over Cyclops! The Venom symbiote took over the Fantastic Four! And much more!! At least twice as many more.

But there’s also news! Such news! Substack is the new Image as the hottest creators make the leap to a new platform! The world reacts as Tim Drake, A Robin, explores his sexuality! And hey, did anyone ask for a quiz about Uatu the Watcher?? Because you’d better believe we’ve got it, friends!

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296: The Summers Family Deadbeat Dad Reunion

Our Podcast Dad didn’t send the cheque on time, so this Father’s Day episode is a week late AND we’re talking about the deadbeat dads of comics! Take that! Superhero books have more than their fair share of bad father figures, but what makes one a deadbeat instead of a garden-variety neglectful or abusive A-hole? Which deadbeat super-dad is the deadbeatiest of all? And how many of these disappointments are from the Summers family? (Believe it or not, some aren’t!)

But that’s not all! We’ve got news: a Warren Ellis announcement finally set off a real response to allegations from SoManyOfUs.com; Miles Morales gets a new costume; and Ben Reilly returns to the role of Spider-Man. And then Merk guides Kyle & Bry through the many surprising covers of the Batman 1966 theme song – some you may not believe!

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280: I Collect Weird Children

Due to some technical difficulties, we’re bringing you back to April of 2020 for this week’s bonus-y style episode. Originally cut from episode 236, hear us discuss leaders in comic books! Who’s good, who’s bad, who’s the man now dog.

 

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250: Magneto’s Mutant-Making Orgasm Machine

Believe it or not, the year 2000 was 20 years ago! So this week we look back and celebrate the original X-MEN movie! The film that introduced Hugh Jackman (and, to some extent, Wolverine) to the public at large! How does this early Marvel movie hold up since comic movies have evolved so much since? What are the highlights? Who are the actors and characters who never got their due? Make like evolution and leap forward into this episode!!

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236: Wonder Man is Your Responsibility

This week, we figure out who is the first among first among equals, with a very scientific, Tony Robbins-endorsed, leader-off! Cyclops, Nightwing, Captain America, Storm, Superman, Mister Fantastic, Black Panther: which one would you follow into battle? The answer may shock you!

Plus, we’ve absolutely lost our minds, and the news shows it.

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197: Raising Cable

This week the boys take it on the road! …. or at least talk about comic characters taking it on the road. With Spidey: Far from Home coming out they discuss heroes out & about, traveling the world! And it’s interesting how many times Spider-Man has gone international…. and killed people! Seriously! JJJ was right! He’s a menace!! We also go over Peter’s bizarre multi city trip to Canada on the Bugle’s dime (JJJ was just trying to get rid of that psychopath!) Hear about the Chameleon bribing kids with drugs for their science notes and the tale of the RIGHT RIDERS (Brett Butte & all)! Which character would you take to Mardi Gras? Find out why Kyle would take Hawkman and why he seems to think all international festivals revolve around the throwing of beads. All this plus the DC Vertigo ‘thang’ and why Netflix won’t be dropping Good Omens anytime soon.  Seriously, this is a good one. Join us for a little trip… 

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182: Old Man Gwen Stacy

The boys are back this week and full of nerdy energy! So they jump right into a wacky game of CHARACTER STORM, where they suggest names of characters and the others fill in the blanks….and this could be the best one yet, beginning with Scrimp Frampton Crime Kicker!!! (Boom Studios is working on a deal for it right now!). Once they emerge from the storm, they talk characters that never seem to be able to carry their own ongoing series. They may be fantastic characters, integral and long lasting on team books … but solo… loser horn (Nightcrawler, we’re looking at you). Hear why Bry wants a Cyclops series that actually works, how we all want a Luke Cage series to happen and all about Alan Moore’s Erotic Journal Martian. All that plus we out of nowhere chime in on our favourite Mortal Kombat finishing moves. It’s a shorty but a weirdy episode, folks. All aboard!

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Zero Issues Holiday Half Pint 9-A Gallon of Beard Oil


It’s that time of the season again!
HOLIDAY HALF PINTS!!! 12 mini episodes leading up to Dec 25th!
Episode 9!! Today we pull cards randomly from a stack of Marvel 1991 trading cards and ask very important christmas questions. What would Iron Fist buy for Iron Fist? Join us for a few more sips of the ol’ half pint.We’re getting close to the bottom of the glass….
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Episode 19: Lightning Round – Brought To You By Our Sponsors

It’s a lightning round week! Three topics, no sense!
What villains do you never want to see again?
Why aren’t there any really good comic book video games?
What are the best and most iconic costumes?
Those are the questions.  Find out the answers if you daaaaare.

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