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377: Choose Your Own XVenture

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This week, the Zero Issues, uh, gang? Group? Team? Those three dudes play a Choose Your Own Adventure, written by our very own Merk!

After a crazy Mardi Gras, the…fellas, we’re going with fellas wake up on a certain house on Graymalkin Lane in Westchester County, New York. But all is not cool and chill at Xavier’s House, and it’s up to the FELLAS to figure out just what’s going on. Can they save the Professor? Will they be able to crack the code? And who’s that in the kitchen, making two-ingredient Thai food? Turn to page 2 to find out!

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374: Don’t Wipe With Your Hook Hand

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Injuries, illnesses, ailments and disabilities have a long, strange, and often impossibly temporary history in comics. Why are some characters permanently changed while others seem to have a revolving door of miracle cures? (We’re looking at you, Chuck!) Even by comic-book standards, how is Batman NOT dead? And hey, how about the healers, the nurses and doctors, the cast of Hotel Artemis? Let’s give ‘em all a hand —- just keep it attached, Night Nurse-Practitioner is busy enough as-is! While we’re at it, can you name all of Thor’s prosthetic arms? How many superheroes have lost limbs, anyway? Does Aquaman wipe with his, uh, hook hand? ALL THIS and a grievous bodily injury quiz that goes only as awry as usual! Get your spot in the Resurrection Queue, because things could get… traumatic.

Speaking of Krakoa: It’s X-Men election time! Wait… what’s that? That happened almost a week ago!? Well, uh, let’s talk about it anyway! Specifically, why nobody should vote for Juggernaut. BOOM, attack ad!! #JuggerNOT #hahabutseriously

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304: Shuma-Gorath Does Laundry on Mondays

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This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.

It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!

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294: A Mighty Allen Wind

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Are you hungry for ridiculous comic book food content? WELL…. you’ve come to the right place.
The boys deliver an all food episode that is, well, delicious.
From figuring out what the Flash eats to power that lean, mean flashing machine, to figuring out how the Thing eats and…. what happens….
Who’s the best X-Cook?
Bry gets very excited by getting to select his disgusting TMNT pizza of choice!
Superhero cookbooks! Wolverine in a diaper! Superman’s beef bourguignon!
All that food plus news of Jupiter’s Legacy being (kind of) cancelled, Hulk & Venom switcheroo, Flashpoint Keaton, Merk’s bush chicken story (it’s a Bonaduce special!) AND we answer a big serious question from a devoted fan….well…. Kyle’s daughter…. who doesn’t read comics…..and never listens to us…. but it’s a question!!
Join us for this X-tra gross episode….
Brought to you by the fantastic folks at Rose N’ Crantz Roasting company. They’re much classier than us.

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290: The Colossus Of Podcasts, the Colossus Of Wayne

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It’s “Fix a Character” time! Piotr Rasputin, Colossus of the X-Men, is a beloved classic character that just doesn’t seem work outside of a team. Strong, stoic yet sensitive, but maybe lacking the energy that makes other characters extra (X-tra!?) popular. Join us for three series pitches that explore some very different, but very “us” takes on the X-Man of Steel! Legal intrigue, art rights, and what makes a life! An urban Mutant Town protector! A Savage Land family reunion that leads to Conan-esque adventure! This one’s got it all! DA TOVARISCH! (Someone tell Marvel to listen to this one!)

Also: Plenty of news, from the sad passing of John Paul Leon to Invincible and Red Sonja news, to endless Marvel teasers. We go on a musical adventure called JUKEBOX ZERO! And all of it made possible by our lovely sponsor, RNC COFFEE! Use the promo code zeroissues at rnccoffee.ca!

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285: I Want My Corpse Back!

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It’s resurrection time!! This week we talk about the age ol’ comic traditions of coming back from the dead! Sometimes done well, and sometimes…..not. And sometimes it’s Aunt May. Plus a load of news from Predator cancellations, to the Marvel/Random house deal, the Black Widow announcement (mark) ruffling feathers, Raphael Grampa making a butt load of moolah, DC movies getting axed and the Black Adam film being announced…. again… All that and Bry talks about the trials and tribulations of collecting. Join us as we resurrect this podcast each week!

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267: Butterscotch Wolverine

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Kramabadoom!!! This week’s a Lightning Round episode, and you know what that means: serious discussion about what kind of Green Goblin knockoff we’d like to be, what DC comic is best suited to feature Gamera, and wondering aloud if anyone actually enjoys knowing everything there is to know about Star Wars. All that and the debut of Canada’s yum-diddly-scrumpious super hero!

 

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244: Superman, Your Kid’s a Nerd!

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It’s that time of year again! No not to get your fishin’ license and go looking for Aquaman! It’s Father’s Day this weekend! So we look at superhero dads who you may not have known had gone out & made a baby…. or two… or three… or 45 in the case of Wolverine. Is deadbeat dad his new mutation?!? We talk about that and kids from Superman, Batman, Colossus (Are you my papa, tovarisch?) and many more. We debate whether Tony Stark had a vasectomy at 25 or developed an extremis condom. Either is possible. And yes, we actually discuss it. We’re nerds. We also have a warm up bit with a game of 20 questions, and lots of news including Spiderman at the BLM protests, the police bizarrely using the Punisher logo, the new DC distribution deal and the sad passing of a comics legend, Denny O’ Neil. 

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233: Colossus’s Magical Death Stench

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In a very, very topical turn of events, this week’s episode is all about diseases and viruses in comic books. So, from the safety of our various bunkers (no, really, we’re all recording remotely, just like a real podcast!), we bring you the sickest episode yet. Do we talk about the Legacy Virus? Uh, you know it. The Clench? Yessuh. D…Death Stench? Yes, though I am honestly not sure why.

Heck, even our Warmup is disease infested, as we do the nastiest Character Storm to date. That, and an earful of news about the many shakeups that the comics industry is going through right now!

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196: Dial B for Blister

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Canada Day approaches! And to celebrate we’re talking all about superheroes who exhibit the most important Canadian quality: a thin veneer of politeness! (And even that’s asking a lot of these guys, yeesh.) What characters and creators are sorry? And who should be? Oh, you’re gonna find out, friends. If you want to. Sorry to assume!

But that’s not all! We’ve got just way too much MCU news, rumours, and wild speculation. And we take a trip to the Blister Zone in another Character Storm! …ew.

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