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260: A Lenny Kravitz Situation

It’s time to FOOM it up!! Yup! We’re talking about that ol’ space dragon monster, Fin Fang Foom! Each of the boys does their pitch of a Foom story to be told to take the Foom where the Foom has never gone before! All that AND we talk the ridiculousness of Superhero costumes. Who puts their initial on their chest AND their belt buckle? And is EVERYTHING unstable molecules? Plus a bevy of news from a Boys spinoff, Supergirl wrapping up, Hawkman casting in the Black Adam movie that no one knew was coming out or not, some Watchmen anger, and Bry intruduces ‘Drake-Watch’. Are you gonna go our way?

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258: Hawkman Hits a Window

We pit the JSA against each other in a series of “Survivor” style scenarios! Green Lantern! The Flash! Atom! Hawkman! Sandman! The Spectre! Wonder Woman! Hourman! Black Canary! Dr. Fate! Which old-time superhero would survive being stranded in the woods? Working retail at Christmas? A galaxy-wide bar crawl with Hal Jordan? Social media? A Zack Snyder movie!? And more!!

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252: A Guy Who Knows Karate VS Doctor Octopus

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! It’s that time once again! August Audness as we call it, where we pick 8 comic characters and put them through a round robin tournament to name a champion! Some are pretty tough calls and it takes all our combined comic nerd power to make the call! And then there’s the moment where ‘Cap just wangs it’….. it happened. Also this week, Bry is ecstatic doing a ‘Read This Now’, talking about Boom Studio’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers/ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mini series. And news, news, news! Big news this week as the ‘bloodbath’ layoffs at Warner Media blindside so many. And IDW’s bizarre promotion, administrative leave and firing of a publisher all within a few weeks. All that and More!!!

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251: 3 Scary Stories

Hell-o, my little ghoulies and gobloids! It is I, the Crypt Haver, ready to deliver you another tale of… oh, what? It’s a Lightning Round episode? They don’t really talk about scary stuff at all, except for one of the ten segments in the episode? Really? The rest is all about giving super heroes branding slogans, or a weird mid-’80s Avengers issue that Merk read, or a frank discussion of what Batman’s favourite song is?

Well, fine.

I’m still getting paid, right?

(With apologies to Bry: I couldn’t find the knife man you were talking about, so I used the album art for celebrated folk punk band AJJ’s 2011 release, Knife Man)

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237: “Hawkman is His Safeword” or: “Daddy, I Want a Hawk!”

KAWW! This week we’re aiming to “fix” another under-appreciated or maligned character… this time, the Hecka Hard-to-follow Hawkman! Carter and/or Katar Hall is mostly famous for an extremely convoluted (even for comics) backstory and continuity. So we aim to do the impossible: pitch a Hawkman story that sells him as a character! What is the core appeal of Hawkman? What would he be without the wings? And what about him makes DC reboot-proof?

But first, we talk about some recent developments! DC is pushing ahead with a new distributor: is this good news to break the distribution monopoly or does it put shops in a bad position? The pandemic shutdown puts publishers in the pinch. A new Heavy Metal imprint goes… viral? And we talk about the recent miniseries “Superman Smashes the Klan”!



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216: Hawkman’s Pal Doug

Y’know those pals who are, like… un-super pals? This week we’re talking about the friends, the sidekicks, the hangers-on of the superhero stars! Whether they’re teen sidekicks for the kids to relate to, or middle-aged schlubs for the writer of the comic to relate to, they’ve been loitering around the panels for decades! So in their honour, let’s: Find some new powerless pals for famous superheroes! Pitch a new “League of Losers” team (are you listening, Mr. Bendis?)! Have a friggin’ RICK JONES QUIZ! Snap into action!!

Plus, news! The Snyder Cut keeps threatening to be released! An X-Man is a Canadian Member of Parliament! “Joker” has made a bunch of money! Ben Mendelsohn makes us bleep ourselves! And maybe even more!?

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209: Ditko Sandwiches!!

It’s Comics Cards Against Humanity time once again! We pit even more of our original questions and answers against each other in a match that isn’t safe for children, or work, or well-adjusted human minds! But first, in honour of Batman Day-Week-Month-Year-Life, we’ve got all the Bat-news you can Bat-handle! And Merk shares some of the lessons he learned while finally watching “Dark Phoenix”!

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197: Raising Cable

This week the boys take it on the road! …. or at least talk about comic characters taking it on the road. With Spidey: Far from Home coming out they discuss heroes out & about, traveling the world! And it’s interesting how many times Spider-Man has gone international…. and killed people! Seriously! JJJ was right! He’s a menace!! We also go over Peter’s bizarre multi city trip to Canada on the Bugle’s dime (JJJ was just trying to get rid of that psychopath!) Hear about the Chameleon bribing kids with drugs for their science notes and the tale of the RIGHT RIDERS (Brett Butte & all)! Which character would you take to Mardi Gras? Find out why Kyle would take Hawkman and why he seems to think all international festivals revolve around the throwing of beads. All this plus the DC Vertigo ‘thang’ and why Netflix won’t be dropping Good Omens anytime soon.  Seriously, this is a good one. Join us for a little trip… 

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192: Of Televisional Crime-Detecting Units & Radiophonic Thought-Recording Rays

Zounds! Once again we dig into the Fletcher Hanks Bible to perform a mind-bending dramatic reading from the adventures of the Super Wizard Stardust! This time, ol’ Dusty goes up against a mad scientist who plans to reverse the Earth’s gravity in a scheme to have all the world’s automobiles and ships to himself! (A description can’t do it justice, trust us.)

Also! In honour of Brightburn, we pitch some movie ideas that give a horror twist to other beloved superheroes! And in the news: which X-Men are dead now? (Or which AREN’T at this point?)

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180: Respect My Much Larger Badge

We’ve been bad boys this week, so what are we going to do when supercops (and super-adjacent cops) come for us? What is The Spectre’s hell, how does a lady become a cop, and just who is the man known only as Greenballs? All this and more will be revealed this week on Zero Issues!

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