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Newsflash: March 13, 2023

GETCHA HULK CHUNKS! Three newsboys dig into the biggest comic news of exactly this moment! It’s new creative teams and number-ones galore as the allure of that big #1 looms large. Very soon, Wonder Woman and The Flash get big #800 anniversary issues followed by new #1 issues and wild new directions.

Chip Zdarsky and Marco Checchetto’s 5-year Daredevil epic comes to a close as Chip hits the road across Canada – and maybe to a comic shop near you, if you live in Canada, and we do! The Hulk stops being a… spaceship?… and gets back to his roots as a big green monster man — and just in time for some manner of monster war! In the land of moving pictures, Batman: Caped Crusader lives on with a two-season Amazon Prime deal!

Hey wait, you forgot a number one! Steel (John Henry) and Steel (Natasha) return in Steelworks #1, written by none other than Michael Dorn, the voice of Steel in the ‘90s cartoon, and, y’know, Worf. So hot right now. You don’t see Shaq getting invited, do you? And speaking of not being invited: after getting Typhoid Married, Wilson “Big Willie” “The Kingpin” Fisk has found a loophole granting him a permanent Krakoan Honeymoon! Oh my, just imagine the zany misadventures to come every week at the Blob’s bar.

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368: A James Gunn Rock-Afire Explosion

It’s beginning to look a lot like CHAOS! Usually we’d have a short bit of holly-jolly fun for you this week, but the DCU rumours and news and rumours and announcements and responses and outright lies for clicks are flying fast, and we are forced to do this holiday season wacky-backwards style and take a look back, and a look forward, at the state of the DCU and predictions for what we’ll see in the future! And also comics, we also do that for comics in general. (But we’re not too happy to be trapped in the Fandome again, so we may get extra raunchy! Consider that a warning, youse.)

Oh, but there’s so much other news! The TMNT and Usagi team up one more time at IDW, Netflix closes an umbrella as their programming gets mysterious and spooky and altogether ooky, The Boys give the world the first good NFT, and we share some “very real” news articles from a comic-news site that will not be named here! Hey, year’s almost over, let’s get wild!

Disclaimer: This series is not officially affiliated with the successful comedy podcast Cum Town. Officially. O…fficially.

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308: Magneto of Green Gables

It’s a big election week this week in ol’ Canada, so the boys have decided to talk politics! No! Come back! It’s us! We’re ridiculous about it and it all involves comic books!
How would Batman vote?
What comic characters would take over & run a small eastern block nation?
And we discuss Magneto taking Prince Edward Island for his own.
This and SO MUCH MORE!!! Really… there’s a lot.
We warm up with a new game of ‘Explain this to me’ where Merk asks the others to explain things they know little (or nothing) about.
And of course the news! Mignola returns! Marvel Action Line does not!
Captain Krakoa…. is a thing. A Twisted Metal tv show is on the way! And Hit Monkey is actually going to happen!
So take some ‘Mackie Time’ and hang with us for a bit. 

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305: I Am Iron Perlman

It’s Multiverse Madness this week on Zero Issues!
From a new game called CHARACTER SMASH where we smushy smush two completely unrelated characters together to create new ridiculous (but highly marketable) characters, to the main topic where we each give multiple pitches on new splendiforous multiverse stories! Check out the Archie mirrorverse! See the Wolverine claw frenzy! Batman V Superman:The Legal Drama! The Michael Keatonverse! 3 Hawkeyes and a Jeremy Renner! And so much more (well at least 2 more). All that plus news as Spider-Man:No Way Home leaks! Also some Batman leakage (ew). And hear Bry’s gripping tale of how Hellboy bankrupted Marvel in the 90’s. All true! Really! Listen and find out!

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302: Ghost Rider got Pantene

Another brand new podcast episode!
Shocking news! GASP!
Fun games! WOW!
Exhilarating stories! HUZZAH!
We’ve got it all, from controversial news across the pond, to a hilarious (and slightly gross) game of Character Storm (with a special Masters of the Universe spin) until we get to the main game! A dramatic read of FANTOMAH MYSTERY WOMAN OF THE JUNGLE by Fletcher Hanks! And that alone is worth the price of admission… which is free…. so yea…. c’mon in!

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297: Lokio Drift

It’s MCU takeover time! This week the boys discuss both Loki AND Modok in the main topic. Spoilers abound! And for the warm up they talk the newest Shang-Chi trailer and unpack EVERYTHING stuffed into that little gem! All that plus new Transformers movie news, the trial of Magneto for killing _______!!! And how many X-Men #1 covers does it take to sink the comic industry AGAIN? We speculate. Squirtle Recall! And at least 3 awkward jokes about gonorrhea. Join us…. at a respectful distance, won’t you?

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294: A Mighty Allen Wind

Are you hungry for ridiculous comic book food content? WELL…. you’ve come to the right place.
The boys deliver an all food episode that is, well, delicious.
From figuring out what the Flash eats to power that lean, mean flashing machine, to figuring out how the Thing eats and…. what happens….
Who’s the best X-Cook?
Bry gets very excited by getting to select his disgusting TMNT pizza of choice!
Superhero cookbooks! Wolverine in a diaper! Superman’s beef bourguignon!
All that food plus news of Jupiter’s Legacy being (kind of) cancelled, Hulk & Venom switcheroo, Flashpoint Keaton, Merk’s bush chicken story (it’s a Bonaduce special!) AND we answer a big serious question from a devoted fan….well…. Kyle’s daughter…. who doesn’t read comics…..and never listens to us…. but it’s a question!!
Join us for this X-tra gross episode….
Brought to you by the fantastic folks at Rose N’ Crantz Roasting company. They’re much classier than us.

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291: The Hulk is on a Quest to get Spaghetti

The Hulk! AND spaghetti! In ONE EPISODE?!?! GADZOOKS!! This week has everything, from hearing Kyle pitch new hilarious Hulk comics as The Immortal Hulk comes to an end, to hearing each of us make pitches for more obscure/underused characters, and news like John Romita jr returning to Marvel and drawing Magneto (and train tracks!), A Dragon Ball movie, and hear us giggle with joy as we discuss MST3K getting crowdfunded for a new season!!! ALL that PLUS you get to hear Bry say “I apologize for not knowing Burt Reynolds was dead.” Top THAT, chuckles!!

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288: The Zemo Shuffle

Falcon and the Winter Soldier has come to an end and the boys made sure not to utter a word about it until it’s done! …. well, let the floodgates open! A review and discussion on Disney +’s newest Marvel series! Bry also does a ‘read this now’ about a new DC title! And news! A trailer for Shang Chi drops! Captain America 4 announced! Find out what comic characters are most searched for in each country! And Russell Crowe going to be a drunken Aussie Zeus in Thor 4? We hope so!

 

Brought to you by the juice of life, sweet coffee from Rose N’ Crantz Roasting Co! (Use the promo code zeroissues to save 10%!)

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285: I Want My Corpse Back!

It’s resurrection time!! This week we talk about the age ol’ comic traditions of coming back from the dead! Sometimes done well, and sometimes…..not. And sometimes it’s Aunt May. Plus a load of news from Predator cancellations, to the Marvel/Random house deal, the Black Widow announcement (mark) ruffling feathers, Raphael Grampa making a butt load of moolah, DC movies getting axed and the Black Adam film being announced…. again… All that and Bry talks about the trials and tribulations of collecting. Join us as we resurrect this podcast each week!

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