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386: Taserface II – Requiem

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 is upon us, all 600 distinct versions of it, and we were lucky enough to see version #539! And maybe we were some of the lucky few, because nobody else seems to be talking about [VERY REAL SPOILER ALERT] the shocking return of TASERFACE as he takes his place as a surprise protagonist of the story! Join us as we dig into the movie’s twists and turns, its triumphant highs and heartbreaking lows, the needle drops, the celebrity cameos, the newly-revealed connections between Taserface and his Guardian pals, and oh gosh, so much more. But that’s not all! Did anyone say “vaguely Guardians-themed Character Storm”? We know YOU did, dear listener! Set tasers (and faces) to FUN!

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360: Clamatoween – Taste of Clam, Form of Tomato

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Halloween is upon us! To celebrate the spookiest day of, let’s face it, a pretty spooky year, Kyle challenges Merk & Bry to a haunted journey to get more Clamato for their Bloody Marys in a Halloween spectacular CHOOSES THE DOOZES Giant Size Classic! Strange things are afoot on the way to the Circle K! Will a graveyard shortcut bring them to their goal, or will they run afoul of Jack Kirby’s Clamato Gang… or Count Duckula… or the Frankenwolfmanstein… or maybe a portal to Vampire World!? This twisted web has many spooky —- and frankly, inappropriate —- threads, dear listener!

But the scares don’t even start there! Thunderbolt Ross lives once more through the performance of ol’ Indy Solo himself, Harrison Ford! Recounting the latest Terror in the Bay horror festival! We have a nice li’l chat about a Halloween-themed DC horror anthology, Terrors Through Time! Archie gets Mad – Mad Max, that is, in Archie vs. the World! And hey sure, let’s talk a bit about Black Adam’s reception while we’re at it!

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306: Third Time’s the Swarm!

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We haven’t seen Shang-Chi yet, so instead we’re doing another exciting LIGHTNING ROUND! Join us for so many mini-topics you’re guaranteed* to find something you love! Comic characters hosting podcasts! A quiz about quizzes! New kid sidekicks for Wolverine! New “Batman ’89” style comics based on long-dead comic movies! A remote-recorded version of a 1991 Marvel Trading Card game! A “Read This Now” profile on “Memetic” by James Tynion IV, Eryk Donovan and Adam Guzowski! Collection treasures that we regret selling or losing! And an all-new segment about comic characters’ kinks! We really ended the episode with that one! Listen, we can prove it!!

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305: I Am Iron Perlman

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It’s Multiverse Madness this week on Zero Issues!
From a new game called CHARACTER SMASH where we smushy smush two completely unrelated characters together to create new ridiculous (but highly marketable) characters, to the main topic where we each give multiple pitches on new splendiforous multiverse stories! Check out the Archie mirrorverse! See the Wolverine claw frenzy! Batman V Superman:The Legal Drama! The Michael Keatonverse! 3 Hawkeyes and a Jeremy Renner! And so much more (well at least 2 more). All that plus news as Spider-Man:No Way Home leaks! Also some Batman leakage (ew). And hear Bry’s gripping tale of how Hellboy bankrupted Marvel in the 90’s. All true! Really! Listen and find out!

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263: Shirtless Nick Nolte as Namor

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This week the boys talk about projects mired in development hell. Films. Comics. Our lives in 2020. We talk about projects that made it out of a long battle to finally see the light, ones still fighting to be made and projects that came up, fell into a bog and will be found 1000 years from now perfectly preserved. That and we celebrate Kyle’s birthday by putting in comic book set ups and seeing how he does. Enter…. the Lees Paradox. All that and a ton of news….. and shirtless Nick Nolte as Namor…… you can hear his voice can’t you, Clarice. The garbled screeching of the Noltes……Join us won’t you?

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247: They Weren’t Always What They Were, But They Will When They Can

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Less Mr. A, more Mr. T this week as we dive into the world of licensed comics. Everything from Kool-Aid Man to Mega Man to P…Pope John Paul II…man. And y’know, I think we learn a little something about friendship along the way.

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172: Chip Sahoyski

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Krakakoom!

This week we go all over the place with a Lightning Round! What should Superman’s new power be? What comic book should have an awesome open world game? How much Batdick is too much Batdick? These questions and many more definitively answered in this “we recorded it a month ago so it isn’t necessarily current” episode!

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170: The Hypno Hustler Halloween Special

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It’s that time of year so break out yer spooky face and join us for the Hypno Hustler Halloween Special! Find out about a (not) possible Deadman show with Scott Bakula & Jennifer Love Hewitt! Learn how to get Morgan Freeman to play a ghost! Find out if Gentleman Ghost is an ol’ timey racist! Hear the pitch for the newest Netflix Archie like show with everyone’s favourite dead kid! Plus… Crossed! Howling Commandos!Woody Allen as Carnage! All purpose killing people guy! Sabrina! Gritty, street level Trigon! Macho Wolf Man! And really soooo much more…. including not one but 2 ridiculous songs! And one’s about Bry in the tub… no…. wait… come back…..it’s a bubble bath….  

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151: With the Power of His Adult Man Brain

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Betty vs. Veronica? Star Trek vs. Star Wars? Batman vs. Literally Anyone? Fans have debated these questions for decades, and finally, FINALLY, we settle ten of the biggest arguments in fandom once or for all! (And we mean it! No more debating after this!)

Also! Merk recommends three indie comics you should check out: Frankenstein: A World of Gods and Monsters, Eternal, and Futility! Kyle spotlights something special from Deadpool 2! And Bry and the boys dig into some news items involving Stan Lee, Marvel’s commitment to diversity, and the future of The Walking Dead!

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145: Magic Cheers

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Whoa! Do we have a show for you this week!?! Yea. We do actually. And it’s pretty magical! We’ve got tons of movie news from Gambit, New Mutants, Dark Phoenix, Rom and a bizarre bit from the Smallville files! Then Bry crushes us with a Thanos quiz (he coulda been a chill Titan) before we launch into our main topic of TV pitches! With the launch of Krypton (ha! Launch!) we make our own offshoot pitches. Who wants to see a sexy teen Pop Tate? Casper, pre-death? Zenn-la, pre-Galactus? Julibee 90210 (does a california mall babe love chili fries?)? Tales of the Mojoverse? Magic Cheers? And a bunch more (seriously, we’re a goldmine, Netflix. We should be showrunners). And we end with Kyle taking us through a Marvel trading card, hulky smashy smashy game! Tune in blue trelievers!

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