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375: Trying to Pronounce “Nth Metal”

Posted on by zeroissues

This week, we’re playing one of our favourites: Comic Book Cards Against Humanity! You know how this works: one of us reads a “call” card with a blank space on it, and the other two try to fill in the blank with the funniest thing we can using our “response” cards. And we wrote all the cards, so it’s going to be gross, because we’re gross, gross people. Enjoy, won’t you? Enjoy it in video mode, even! Bam!

Oh, and hey! Here’s our codes! Sign up for Massive Decks, and then put these codes in to use our cards!
RXQ4J, 1EO3K, 1248W, LYQRV, L6D3P

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373: Egg in the Streets, Goldballs in the Sheets!

Posted on by zeroissues

KRAKAKOOM!! It’s LIGHTNING ROUND TIME!!
Short topics. Quick turnaround. More bang for your buck…. if you were paying us.
This week includes such finery as an X-Men Toilet! Robin in corduroy pants and a chain wallet! Who’s the best Green Lantern? The Netflix Snyderverse ridiculousness! Super fight! A marvel year in review 1990 quiz! Comic cooking shows! And SO MUCH MORE including the burning question……egg or goldballs? Come for the answers! Leave with more questions!

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Classic Zero Issues 4: The Roast of Hal Jordan

Posted on by zeroissues

The Zero Issues July Vacation Classic Spectacular comes to a close! As the boys try to remember how they got to the blue side of the Moon, enjoy what may be the most classic “classic” of all:

From beautiful downtown Coast City, it’s a star studded event filled with laughs, tears, masked vigilantes and utter humiliation! It’s the ROAST OF HAL JORDAN!! Yes, the Green Lantern is in the crosshairs of his peers as they celebrate this legendary hero while, simultaneously, tearing a strip out of the emerald knight! Join Batman, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Kilowog, Guy Gardner and others as they… reminisce… about dear ol’ Hal. The early years. The awkward years. That mask that hides nothing… even his shame. Sponsored by Sinestro Industries.

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311: Man Man and Bat Bat

Posted on by zeroissues

It’s the spooky month and we’re feelin’ like it’s time for a little power records! Y’know, those amazing comics on a 45 record from the 70’s?
Time for MAN-BAT! Or is it MAN-MAN? Or BAT-BAT? Listen and (probably don’t) find out!
So much action! So much weird dialogue!
Hear the origin of Man-Bat and how horrible he is to his wife.
Hear about the puppy gang and our short obsession with RC Cola.
And our Lil’ Zero spinoff series!
This and so much more (well, not THAT much more. It’s a short episode.)
Join us, won’t you? 

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303: What If… Venom was a Cool Jacket?

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To celebrate the launch of “WHAT IF…?” on Disney+, we cook up some “what if” questions of our own! Come with us to explore alternate worlds where… The Vision was made by Apple or Microsoft! The Phoenix Force chose Wolverine over Cyclops! The Venom symbiote took over the Fantastic Four! And much more!! At least twice as many more.

But there’s also news! Such news! Substack is the new Image as the hottest creators make the leap to a new platform! The world reacts as Tim Drake, A Robin, explores his sexuality! And hey, did anyone ask for a quiz about Uatu the Watcher?? Because you’d better believe we’ve got it, friends!

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277: Martian Hunterbean

Posted on by zeroissues

Y’know who’s boring and they never seem to get right, even though he’s pretty much the same as Superman? Martian Manhunter. Think the three of us can fix the comic book equivalent of Great Value cola? Have we got it in us? The answer lies in this episode!

All that, plus we’ve got Robin-only news (look, two outta three ain’t bad), and we verbally spar over who would win in a fight between Godzilla and King Kong.

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260: A Lenny Kravitz Situation

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It’s time to FOOM it up!! Yup! We’re talking about that ol’ space dragon monster, Fin Fang Foom! Each of the boys does their pitch of a Foom story to be told to take the Foom where the Foom has never gone before! All that AND we talk the ridiculousness of Superhero costumes. Who puts their initial on their chest AND their belt buckle? And is EVERYTHING unstable molecules? Plus a bevy of news from a Boys spinoff, Supergirl wrapping up, Hawkman casting in the Black Adam movie that no one knew was coming out or not, some Watchmen anger, and Bry intruduces ‘Drake-Watch’. Are you gonna go our way?

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248: The Roast of Hal Jordan

Posted on by zeroissues

From beautiful downtown Coast City, it’s a star studded event filled with laughs, tears, masked vigilantes and utter humiliation! It’s the ROAST OF HAL JORDAN!! Yes, the Green Lantern is in the crosshairs of his peers as they celebrate this legendary hero while, simultaneously, tearing a strip out of the emerald knight! Join Batman, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Kilowog, Guy Gardner and others as they…. reminisce…. about dear ol’ Hal. The early years. The awkward years. That mask that hides nothing….even his shame. Sponsored by Sinestro Industries. 

Direct Download: MP3

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240: Just a Green Bobby Hill

Posted on by zeroissues

Mother’s Day was, uh, almost two weeks ago… and to, um, celebrate… we’re talking about the worst-ever kids in comics! We compare the worst of the Robins! We discover the fourth, psychotic nephew of Donald Duck! We assemble an all-star team of shitty kids from comics! And, of course, we learn a very important lesson in symbiote reproduction techniques! And good god, so much more. Let’s get weird!!

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229: A Batman who Washes His Ass

Posted on by zeroissues

Holy smokes, did you know there’s a new Batman movie in the works right now, helmed by Matt Reeves and starring Robert Pattinson? So I guess there won’t be anyone else playing Batman after this, he’s the last one, nobody else will ever play Batman.

Despite this, we do our best to recast Batman and his allies and enemies, just in case they do ever decide to make another Batman movie. Y’know, just in case!

Plus: Dan DiDio’s ousting from DC, all the hot ToyFair news, the cast reveal for Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe: Revelation, and Kyle tells us about The Fourth Planet, a comic series from someone we aren’t attempting to fource a bitter rivalry with.

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