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346: QuicksilvEST!

Blue streak speeds by, it’s just Quicksilver!
Kind of a rude guy, that’s just Quicksilver!
Pietro, yeah he’s pretty fast
But also, he’s a total ass
Quicksilver, this week we try to fix him up!

Also, to celebrate the summer, Bry takes us back in time to go over the history of the comic book swimsuit issue!

Plus a whole bunch of news, including a challenge to Chip Zdarsky to come on the show and explain why he (didn’t really) steal Bry’s idea (I’m sure that didn’t happen) to turn the Penguin into an ecoterrorist (Chip really it’s cool this isn’t libel)!

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322: This Dumb Place

What a year! Let’s talk about in this very loose episode. Come along!

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318: At the Speed of Snowplow!

Winter in comic books is kinda… weird, right? Like it rarely happens, and when it does it always seems to be over after a single issue or story-arc. And as semi-northern Canadians, we have a podcast episode to pick with that! But as semi-northern Canadians, we also appreciate it whenever it happens! So join us on a wintery journey through the snow-filled superhero comics that stuck with us (we’ve got TMNT *and* X-Men!), the inadequacies of superhero costumes in winter (tell us, HOW do Spider-Man’s lenses not constantly fog up when he’s wearing a mask?), and we pitch some new comic story ideas to make up for an otherwise lack of winter realism. Plus: Hulk in a snowsuit!! That sounds brrrrr– uh, great!

But… what’s this!? We give wintertime “normal jobs” to three random comic characters: Moon Knight vs. Hockey Parents! Quicksilver turns into a tow truck… Turbo Teen style, even! Fantomah helps (and causes) icy car accidents! And we talk about all the wildest news, from an abruptly-cancelled Luke Cage miniseries, a new comic about Starship Hulk, and Saga’s live-action debut!

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304: Shuma-Gorath Does Laundry on Mondays

This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.

It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!

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290: The Colossus Of Podcasts, the Colossus Of Wayne

It’s “Fix a Character” time! Piotr Rasputin, Colossus of the X-Men, is a beloved classic character that just doesn’t seem work outside of a team. Strong, stoic yet sensitive, but maybe lacking the energy that makes other characters extra (X-tra!?) popular. Join us for three series pitches that explore some very different, but very “us” takes on the X-Man of Steel! Legal intrigue, art rights, and what makes a life! An urban Mutant Town protector! A Savage Land family reunion that leads to Conan-esque adventure! This one’s got it all! DA TOVARISCH! (Someone tell Marvel to listen to this one!)

Also: Plenty of news, from the sad passing of John Paul Leon to Invincible and Red Sonja news, to endless Marvel teasers. We go on a musical adventure called JUKEBOX ZERO! And all of it made possible by our lovely sponsor, RNC COFFEE! Use the promo code zeroissues at rnccoffee.ca!

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289: Moidawoild

Oh boy, they’ve really done it this time! Bry and Merk thought they won it big when they recieved some complimentary tickets to the local fair, but what they really won were two tickets deep into the heart of Murderworld! Can they escape before Arcade’s carnival of chaos consumes their corpses? Can Merk best a robotic Seth Green in tic tac toe? Is Bry not to be trusted with darts? And where’s Kyle? Find out this week on Zero Issues!

Also, we do news and a character storm, but after that description, I’m… I’m very winded.

Brought to you by beans! But not just any beans, but those fancy “energy beans” from Rose N’ Crantz Roasting Co! (Use the promo code zeroissues to save 10%!)

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280: I Collect Weird Children

Due to some technical difficulties, we’re bringing you back to April of 2020 for this week’s bonus-y style episode. Originally cut from episode 236, hear us discuss leaders in comic books! Who’s good, who’s bad, who’s the man now dog.

 

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279: Why Did This Gorilla Set Fire to the City?!?

It’s a Lightning Round episode, so you know what that means: nearly a dozen short and weird topics. We’ve got new segments like Crossfit This In and Deep Cuts, attempts at serious discussion, and a full list of the Seven Things Guaranteed to Sell a Comic!

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266: Ted’s Not Here, Man

This week is aaaaall about the year 2000! It was twenty years ago, and… look, I’m gonna level with you. I edited this episode two weeks ago. I can’t remember what we talked about, really. I know that we do three quizzes! I made notes, but I lost ’em. I dunno, man. Listen and find out? Let’s find out together, how ’bout.

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264: A Boid to Kill For

SUPER-PETS ASSEMBLE! This one’s all about the animal sidekicks in our lives… except not ours, fictional characters’! Which super-pets are our favourites? What comic characters need their own animal companions, and who would they be? And what happens if superhero pets trade humans?

BUT ALSO! Oscar Issac is Moon Knight!? A new Ghost Rider! Chris Claremont writes! The Last Ronin sells! And in response to a Kurt Busiek tweet, let’s pitch some X-Men duo books!

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