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Newsflash: March 13, 2023

GETCHA HULK CHUNKS! Three newsboys dig into the biggest comic news of exactly this moment! It’s new creative teams and number-ones galore as the allure of that big #1 looms large. Very soon, Wonder Woman and The Flash get big #800 anniversary issues followed by new #1 issues and wild new directions.

Chip Zdarsky and Marco Checchetto’s 5-year Daredevil epic comes to a close as Chip hits the road across Canada – and maybe to a comic shop near you, if you live in Canada, and we do! The Hulk stops being a… spaceship?… and gets back to his roots as a big green monster man — and just in time for some manner of monster war! In the land of moving pictures, Batman: Caped Crusader lives on with a two-season Amazon Prime deal!

Hey wait, you forgot a number one! Steel (John Henry) and Steel (Natasha) return in Steelworks #1, written by none other than Michael Dorn, the voice of Steel in the ‘90s cartoon, and, y’know, Worf. So hot right now. You don’t see Shaq getting invited, do you? And speaking of not being invited: after getting Typhoid Married, Wilson “Big Willie” “The Kingpin” Fisk has found a loophole granting him a permanent Krakoan Honeymoon! Oh my, just imagine the zany misadventures to come every week at the Blob’s bar.

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304: Shuma-Gorath Does Laundry on Mondays

This week, we’re tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the kitchen, pouring ourselves a cup of ambition, and yawning, stretching, and talking about super heroes with day jobs. From the ones with crappy jobs, like Hal Jordan selling toys door to door and Captain America being an artist for Marvel Comics pre-creators’ rights, to the ones we wish characters had, like Batman’s Discovery Channel hit, Keeping up with the Waynes, or Doctor Strange turning the Sanctum Sanctorum into a rooming house.

It even takes over our Warm Up, where we try to give jobs to a bunch of characters who don’t really have prescribed ones (spoiler: a lot of them just end up as bouncers at a strip club). And there’s news! You knew that! Get back to work!

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