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374: Don’t Wipe With Your Hook Hand

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Injuries, illnesses, ailments and disabilities have a long, strange, and often impossibly temporary history in comics. Why are some characters permanently changed while others seem to have a revolving door of miracle cures? (We’re looking at you, Chuck!) Even by comic-book standards, how is Batman NOT dead? And hey, how about the healers, the nurses and doctors, the cast of Hotel Artemis? Let’s give ‘em all a hand —- just keep it attached, Night Nurse-Practitioner is busy enough as-is! While we’re at it, can you name all of Thor’s prosthetic arms? How many superheroes have lost limbs, anyway? Does Aquaman wipe with his, uh, hook hand? ALL THIS and a grievous bodily injury quiz that goes only as awry as usual! Get your spot in the Resurrection Queue, because things could get… traumatic.

Speaking of Krakoa: It’s X-Men election time! Wait… what’s that? That happened almost a week ago!? Well, uh, let’s talk about it anyway! Specifically, why nobody should vote for Juggernaut. BOOM, attack ad!! #JuggerNOT #hahabutseriously

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Newsflash: February 6, 2023

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WHOA! Have we got a LOT to talk about on the news…. in a short time! It’s a Zero Issues Newsflash Monday News episode and we’re talking about the DC Film announcements from James Gunn & Peter Safran! What’s staying? What’s the link to the new stuff? What IS the new stuff? What are WE excited about? What’s going to be the tough sell? And SO MUCH MORE!

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373: Egg in the Streets, Goldballs in the Sheets!

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KRAKAKOOM!! It’s LIGHTNING ROUND TIME!!
Short topics. Quick turnaround. More bang for your buck…. if you were paying us.
This week includes such finery as an X-Men Toilet! Robin in corduroy pants and a chain wallet! Who’s the best Green Lantern? The Netflix Snyderverse ridiculousness! Super fight! A marvel year in review 1990 quiz! Comic cooking shows! And SO MUCH MORE including the burning question……egg or goldballs? Come for the answers! Leave with more questions!

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372: Wish For A Happy Ending

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After this week, nothing will be the same… because we’re talking about event comics! Big bombastic crossovers, character derailment, and issues that have Alpha or Omega as a number! Sometimes we love them, and sometimes they drive us to stop collecting comics altogether, and sometimes, just sometimes? They teach us to love.

But before we can learn to love, we have to learn to create our own very special event using the power of Mad Libs! Will the Zero Issues gang ever be the same? No! I already said they won’t at the beginning of this! Pay attention!


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Newsflash: January 23, 2023

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The newsboys are back for another ZERO ISSUES NEWSFLASH! It’s the beginning of the end of the beginning of the Venomverse, but the Denim Gwenomverse will surely endure. ComiXology suffers another brutal blow by their owners at Amazon. Crystal Dynamics’ Avengers game is closing up shop and giving away the extras its first-day fans paid big for. That Wilkin Boy, the Archie sensation we definitely all remember, is back – in horror spin-off form! Jason Momoa meets with the new DC Studios bosses and right on, my man, he likes what he hears! Are James Gunn and his “Guardians of the Galaxy” cast DCU BFFs, and does the idea make us happy or angry? And last but not least, are retailers’ frustrations with event creep and endless variant covers reaching critical mass? Find out! Here! In this breaking-ish news update!

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371: That’s Bad Glue

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POWER RECORDS COMING THROUGH!!!!

Oh yea. It’s power records time. The 45’s from the 70’s that, oh so weirdly, dramatize comics. In this case Captain America 168 ‘And a Phoenix Shall Arise!!’. It’s a bizarre one… and slightly awkward in parts. Falcon with no wings. Cap a little down on himself and stuck in glue. Hot glue. Hot nazi glue. There’s a mystery unfolding, won’t you join us as we laugh it up?!

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370: A Dire Warning of the Future

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Happy 2023! This week, we sit down (in person, no less!) to talk about what we definitely think is going to happen this year in comics, movies, and even in our own podcast.

But before we look forward to the horrors of 2023, we first come up with some resolutions for ourselves: read more comics and make more comics, mostly! Hey, it’s us, what else did you expect?

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Newsflash for January 9, 2023

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It’s the first ever Zero Issues Newsflash! That’s right, we’re sliding the news into its own separate mini-podcast. Catch up on all of the comic news you’ve missed with us!

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369: It’s a Latverian Death Metal Christmas

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It’s that time…. between Christmas and New Years…. but we’re still feeling festive & fun so we’re doing a CHRISTMAS DRAMATIC READING!!!! Oh yea, and it’s a gooder!  ‘I’ll be Doom for Christmas: A Yuletide Fable”.  Dr Doom takes over for Santa Claus and wackiness ensues… for us…. This one is pretty dang good. So sit back, take a load off and enjoy! We’ll see you in 2023!!

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368: A James Gunn Rock-Afire Explosion

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It’s beginning to look a lot like CHAOS! Usually we’d have a short bit of holly-jolly fun for you this week, but the DCU rumours and news and rumours and announcements and responses and outright lies for clicks are flying fast, and we are forced to do this holiday season wacky-backwards style and take a look back, and a look forward, at the state of the DCU and predictions for what we’ll see in the future! And also comics, we also do that for comics in general. (But we’re not too happy to be trapped in the Fandome again, so we may get extra raunchy! Consider that a warning, youse.)

Oh, but there’s so much other news! The TMNT and Usagi team up one more time at IDW, Netflix closes an umbrella as their programming gets mysterious and spooky and altogether ooky, The Boys give the world the first good NFT, and we share some “very real” news articles from a comic-news site that will not be named here! Hey, year’s almost over, let’s get wild!

Disclaimer: This series is not officially affiliated with the successful comedy podcast Cum Town. Officially. O…fficially.

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