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227: Free With the Kisses!

It’s Valentine’s Day, Zero Issues style!! This week it’s short but sweet, as we dig deep into classic romance comics to perform a Dramatic Reading you… won’t…… forget. A dance couple in the big city! A smooth club owner with his eyes on the prize! A creep with a gullet full of chicken bones! And a big twist that adds a new element to the whole concept of reading comics out loud! Doesn’t that sound romantic!? (N… not really!)

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226: I Shall Become a Circus

Cue up Entrance of the Gladiators, because we’re off to the circus this week! Th…that’s what the circus song is called. Kind of a badass name for what is essentially Boy, Clowns are Goofy: The Song. Anyway, yeah, circus! From the Flying Graysons to the Circus of Crime (to Golden Age superhero costumes being inspired by circus strongmen, which we don’t really talk about, whoops), comics and circuses have a long, shared history. A history that we mock.

Plus: DMZ, Bloodshot, and more in the News! A brand new card-based Warmup that you’ll love! And many, many instances of Bry saying “daddy.”

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225: As Long as Jon Cryer gets Punched in the Face

Let’s ARROWVERSE the %^$# out of this! Crisis! The end of Arrow (Bry is ecstatic!). A spoiler filled exploration of the CW trainwreck that we kinda like…. kinda….. plus so much more! The Marvel Hulu debacle! Obi Wan does Weekend at Bernies! Old Man Picard! Old Man Gambit! CW beard! Spectre Crackhead! Luke Wilson is hot again! We go gagga over Brandon Routh’s hot bod! Kyle has a new game and it’s got Burt Ward all over it. And real life intrudes! Kyle is stuck on the highway and calls it in! Will he get to the show?!?! Will he make it out alive!?!? Or will he be the shell of a man?!?!? Tune in! Same ZERO ISSUE time! Same ZERO ISSUE channel!

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224: I Had an Answer So Quickly

Lightning Round! Y’all know what this means: we’re pingponging through topics like a trio of Speedballs.  Two quizzes, a marry-screw-kill, talking Matt Reeves’ The Batman villains, all the Stephen Dorff news you can handle, toy-talk, and even some sound effects provided by a toy laser gun that Merk got for Christmas. This episode literally has everything.

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223: It’s a Terrible

IT’S A TERRIBLE…costume. Terrible. The worst. Which character wins THAT distinct honour? There are plenty battling in that secret war. Join us as we discuss ridiculous costumes! PLUS…. we go over a bevy of movie news, from Christian Bale’s reported talks to join Thor, to Scott Derrickson exiting Dr Strange, and the new New Mutants trailer, Morbius rumblings and the ‘indefinite delay’ of the Hawkeye series (it may have been because he was going to wear THIS costume). All that AND Kyle debuts a new warm up game! BLOCKBUSTER STORM!! PS- Bon Jovi hates apes.

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222: Hindsight and 2020

And just like that, 2019 is over, and 2020 is upon us! Last year, we made a whooooole bunch of predictions for how 2019 was going to go, and now it’s time to crack open that audio time capsule and see how well it bears out, along with making some new predictions for this year! Did…did we get anything right? We did? Cool!

Plus: what better way to start a new decade than with Character Storm?

Minus: news this week, as nothing has happened yet this year. Nothing!

 

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221: A Vunda Voman Christmas

Happy Holidays fellow Comic geeks! We have a treat for you today on xmas day…… a Wonder Woman Christmas story from a 1977 vinyl…. and we talk over the whole thing! Sounds great doesn’t it? It totally is. Think MST3K but with an even LOWER budget. Listen to this tale of a sinister villain that kidnaps Santa Claus in order to trap Wonder Woman in order to be Queen of the World in order to  rule as the master race…. uh… whoa…. the 70’s were a rough, awkward time.  Need that break from the xmas familial madness? We got you covered… well for 20 minutes or so.

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220: 2019 Shrieking to a Close

2019 sure has been a year… and continues to be, as a whole slew of comic and pop-culture news hits right before the end! So to get it all out of our systems, it’s an all-news episode!! Marvel Studios consumes Marvel Television! Orlando Jones is fired from “American Gods”! Eastman & Laird reunite! Donald Trump goes full Thanos (well… more than usual)! Plus lots of movie and television and, whoa, even comic announcements!? Neat!! Join us as we react to and comment on all this… and more!!

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219: A Pretty Bitchin’ Cape

Rivalries!!! This week we settle those age old questions; Who ultimately wins the Thing vs Hulk battle? Captain America-Sweet Pirate Boots or Military gear? What does the S on Jughead’s Shirt stand for? Terrance Howard vs Don Cheadle? Mortal Kombat vs Street Fighter? Who’s the best Turtle? Which Spidey actor would win in an actual fight- Holland, Maguire or Garfield? Those disputes and more solved… FOREVER. All that and Kyle runs a What if warm up which ends up with us pitching a Wolverine/Dracula odd couple sitcom story…. that is pretty fantastic. And news! Sex Criminals! Robert Pattinson! Black Adam! The Rock! Flash! And lots more. Join us won’t you….

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218: Death by a Thousand Snyder Cuts

Release the Snyder Cut! I guess! There’s somehow still talk of this thing (possibly more talk, even), so this week, we’re coming up with our own Snyder Cuts. How do you fix a movie like Justice League, anyway? And how could you fix other movies in the same way?

Plus, we’re talking about comic book piracy. When indie books are being downloaded by the hundreds of thousands, and the creators are broke, is that cool? On the flipside, comic books are damned expensive, dawg. Like, real ‘spensive. We solve this problem*!

All that, and Kyle manages to contribute to the news for once.

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*we do not