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378: Wolverine is a Rich Little Fancy Gentleman

This week we’ve gone team-up crazy! Time for a free-wheeling discussion about the glorious tradition of Marvel Team-Up, Marvel Two-In-One, The Brave and the Bold, and all the wacky combos of the biggest, the weirdest, and the downright obscure! What are our favourite team-up stories, the ones we never want to see again, ones we should take another look at, and ones we would love to see! All that and why The Thing is the best Marvel team-up star, and an off-the-cuff audio history of “Marvel Two-In-One”, why not! Including yet another heartfelt pitch for an ongoing Lockjaw team-up book, MARVEL. And then another one for a monthly Wolverine X-People-Only team-up book! MARVEL!!

But first, in a rapid-fire Character Storm, we create three soon-to-be classics: The Cramp, Modern Man, and Costume Hoodie! One’s a dance! (That one’s The Cramp!)

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377: Choose Your Own XVenture

This week, the Zero Issues, uh, gang? Group? Team? Those three dudes play a Choose Your Own Adventure, written by our very own Merk!

After a crazy Mardi Gras, the…fellas, we’re going with fellas wake up on a certain house on Graymalkin Lane in Westchester County, New York. But all is not cool and chill at Xavier’s House, and it’s up to the FELLAS to figure out just what’s going on. Can they save the Professor? Will they be able to crack the code? And who’s that in the kitchen, making two-ingredient Thai food? Turn to page 2 to find out!

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Newsflash: Feb 27, 2023

It’s Monday Feb 27, 2023 and that can mean only one thing! Tomorrow is the 28th!
Also ….. It’s Zero Issues Newsflash time!
What’s that? Why it’s a short pod of comic book news and hilarity!
Hear about 3 Jokers and a BatBaby!
Or the return or Mac Tonight. Or is it Mack 2Knight?
Also, Kyle eats his hat.

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376: I Enjoyed the Goo Guy

ANT MAN! ANT MAN 3 QUANTUMANIA to be precise! We saw it! We talk about it! We liked the goo guy!

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375: Trying to Pronounce “Nth Metal”

This week, we’re playing one of our favourites: Comic Book Cards Against Humanity! You know how this works: one of us reads a “call” card with a blank space on it, and the other two try to fill in the blank with the funniest thing we can using our “response” cards. And we wrote all the cards, so it’s going to be gross, because we’re gross, gross people. Enjoy, won’t you? Enjoy it in video mode, even! Bam!

Oh, and hey! Here’s our codes! Sign up for Massive Decks, and then put these codes in to use our cards!
RXQ4J, 1EO3K, 1248W, LYQRV, L6D3P

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374: Don’t Wipe With Your Hook Hand

Injuries, illnesses, ailments and disabilities have a long, strange, and often impossibly temporary history in comics. Why are some characters permanently changed while others seem to have a revolving door of miracle cures? (We’re looking at you, Chuck!) Even by comic-book standards, how is Batman NOT dead? And hey, how about the healers, the nurses and doctors, the cast of Hotel Artemis? Let’s give ‘em all a hand —- just keep it attached, Night Nurse-Practitioner is busy enough as-is! While we’re at it, can you name all of Thor’s prosthetic arms? How many superheroes have lost limbs, anyway? Does Aquaman wipe with his, uh, hook hand? ALL THIS and a grievous bodily injury quiz that goes only as awry as usual! Get your spot in the Resurrection Queue, because things could get… traumatic.

Speaking of Krakoa: It’s X-Men election time! Wait… what’s that? That happened almost a week ago!? Well, uh, let’s talk about it anyway! Specifically, why nobody should vote for Juggernaut. BOOM, attack ad!! #JuggerNOT #hahabutseriously

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Newsflash: February 6, 2023

WHOA! Have we got a LOT to talk about on the news…. in a short time! It’s a Zero Issues Newsflash Monday News episode and we’re talking about the DC Film announcements from James Gunn & Peter Safran! What’s staying? What’s the link to the new stuff? What IS the new stuff? What are WE excited about? What’s going to be the tough sell? And SO MUCH MORE!

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373: Egg in the Streets, Goldballs in the Sheets!

KRAKAKOOM!! It’s LIGHTNING ROUND TIME!!
Short topics. Quick turnaround. More bang for your buck…. if you were paying us.
This week includes such finery as an X-Men Toilet! Robin in corduroy pants and a chain wallet! Who’s the best Green Lantern? The Netflix Snyderverse ridiculousness! Super fight! A marvel year in review 1990 quiz! Comic cooking shows! And SO MUCH MORE including the burning question……egg or goldballs? Come for the answers! Leave with more questions!

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372: Wish For A Happy Ending

After this week, nothing will be the same… because we’re talking about event comics! Big bombastic crossovers, character derailment, and issues that have Alpha or Omega as a number! Sometimes we love them, and sometimes they drive us to stop collecting comics altogether, and sometimes, just sometimes? They teach us to love.

But before we can learn to love, we have to learn to create our own very special event using the power of Mad Libs! Will the Zero Issues gang ever be the same? No! I already said they won’t at the beginning of this! Pay attention!


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Newsflash: January 23, 2023

The newsboys are back for another ZERO ISSUES NEWSFLASH! It’s the beginning of the end of the beginning of the Venomverse, but the Denim Gwenomverse will surely endure. ComiXology suffers another brutal blow by their owners at Amazon. Crystal Dynamics’ Avengers game is closing up shop and giving away the extras its first-day fans paid big for. That Wilkin Boy, the Archie sensation we definitely all remember, is back – in horror spin-off form! Jason Momoa meets with the new DC Studios bosses and right on, my man, he likes what he hears! Are James Gunn and his “Guardians of the Galaxy” cast DCU BFFs, and does the idea make us happy or angry? And last but not least, are retailers’ frustrations with event creep and endless variant covers reaching critical mass? Find out! Here! In this breaking-ish news update!

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