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186: March Madness V: Madness takes Manhattan

March-o Madness, oooooh yeeeeaaah!!

In this, the fifth edition to our March Madness/August Audness series, we once again pit eight characters against each other, tournament-style, to see who the absolute toughest is, not counting Superman or Goku or whatever.

Also! So much news! So much news, it’ll make you sit up in bed and say “wow, it’s so much news.” News!

Previous Madness Tournament episodes can be heard here, here, here, and here!

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185: I Like the Idea of Them Being Best Friends

This week is a shorty but a goodie… and sorry, it’s kinda raunchy. It just went that way. We have no control over it. It’s the Kree programing. No news, no warm ups, just two segments this week. Bry drops a hilarious game of MFK on the boys, including ridiculous Legionnaires (the heroes from the future, not the disease) and some familiar Aunts. Then Merk introduces a new bit called ‘Connections’, making connections across companies and media. Did you know Shaggy from Scooby Doo’s last name is Rogers? Could his long lost father be the Sentinel Of Liberty himself, Captain America??? And what does he think of his hippie, deadbeat, scooby snackin’ kid??? They also delve into two Garfield stories, a trippy trip into machine man land, and we all learn about Parker…. y’know…. Parker! Parker? PARKER!!! Not to mention we connect the Red Skull to Skeletor! And it turns out they’re besties!!!

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183: Nothing Like Hot Yogurt

Does anybody here like food?

This week, we get reeeal snacky, and talk all about food in comics. Does Superman really need to eat? What is the worst thing that the Ninja Turtles have ever ordered on a pizza? Is Boo Berry a racist, or is calling him racist the actual racist thing? None of these questions are answered.

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182: Old Man Gwen Stacy

The boys are back this week and full of nerdy energy! So they jump right into a wacky game of CHARACTER STORM, where they suggest names of characters and the others fill in the blanks….and this could be the best one yet, beginning with Scrimp Frampton Crime Kicker!!! (Boom Studios is working on a deal for it right now!). Once they emerge from the storm, they talk characters that never seem to be able to carry their own ongoing series. They may be fantastic characters, integral and long lasting on team books … but solo… loser horn (Nightcrawler, we’re looking at you). Hear why Bry wants a Cyclops series that actually works, how we all want a Luke Cage series to happen and all about Alan Moore’s Erotic Journal Martian. All that plus we out of nowhere chime in on our favourite Mortal Kombat finishing moves. It’s a shorty but a weirdy episode, folks. All aboard!

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180: Respect My Much Larger Badge

We’ve been bad boys this week, so what are we going to do when supercops (and super-adjacent cops) come for us? What is The Spectre’s hell, how does a lady become a cop, and just who is the man known only as Greenballs? All this and more will be revealed this week on Zero Issues!

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179: Oh Baby Baby, It’s a Moyda World

It’s…still a new year! And this week we’re playing Comic Book Cards Against Humanity, to shake the rust off of our “haven’t recorded in a month” butts. It isn’t a lazy premise for an episode, we wrote all of these cards ourselves!

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178: Spicy Claws and Other 2019 Predictions

It’s a new year! And with that comes predictions of what the comic world will hold in the forthcoming year…. most of them ridiculous. Brooklyn 2099! Spicy Claws Logan! Watch the DCU go full Momoa! Spawn as Shawshank Redemption! Plus some serious ones like ‘what does this year look like for Dark Horse?’ All that and so much more… like Mitch Romney getting hit with a toilet, Francesco Mattina, Bry does a ‘read this now’ and “That’s So Rorschach” becomes a thing. And listen now and you can get the discount code ‘3 Bald Boys’ for 10% off sheets at Zellers! Listen now to get yours!

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176: Batman’s Super Smooth Running Machine Christmas

Well it’s that time of year….. Time for the Zero Issues Boys to put together a little audio cheer in podcast form. This week’s cheerful bliss comes in the form of a Batman story on vinyl, telling the bizarre tale of Batman, Robin and Robin’s replacement, Dr John, as they sing Christmas carols, run in flip flops and and swing on chandeliers in homeless shelters. Join us for this short tale of Gotham’s miserable Christmas, won’t you?

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175: Don’t Be ‘Space’ Smith

It’s another trip into the trippy brain of Fletcher Hanks as we do a dramatic reading of one of the adventures of ‘SPACE’ SMITH!!! Guest staring self care sunday Groot! Listen as ‘Space’ panics at every point! Learn how checkers may have something to do with flying a spaceship! Drop in for this short listen…. because if this story was any longer…. zoiks…. I don’t think we’d make it.

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