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251: 3 Scary Stories

Hell-o, my little ghoulies and gobloids! It is I, the Crypt Haver, ready to deliver you another tale of… oh, what? It’s a Lightning Round episode? They don’t really talk about scary stuff at all, except for one of the ten segments in the episode? Really? The rest is all about giving super heroes branding slogans, or a weird mid-’80s Avengers issue that Merk read, or a frank discussion of what Batman’s favourite song is?

Well, fine.

I’m still getting paid, right?

(With apologies to Bry: I couldn’t find the knife man you were talking about, so I used the album art for celebrated folk punk band AJJ’s 2011 release, Knife Man)

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245: Frank Miller’s JO Challenge

My podcast this week talks about Frank Miller’s Will Eisner’s The Spirit. My podcast doesn’t think that it’s a very good movie. My podcast isn’t one of those other “bad movie” podcasts, though, it’s actually a comic book podcast, one that only on rare occasions dips its big toe into bad movies. My podcasts talks about the dad from Wonder Years being in this movie for the appropriate amount of time.

My podcast also features some hot new comic book news, and something in the Warmup that, if you didn’t know it yet, is new to you!

My podcast screams.

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239: I’m Weisz to You

So, this episode gets a little weird, for some reason! We’ve got some really interesting news about the current state of the comic book industry, and Merk has a very fun quiz, but then, in our main segment, which is supposed to be all about the current changes that are being, by necessity, forced on the MCU, the audio has been completely corrupted and
w𝔼 ţα𝓛𝓀 A𝓁ᒪ 𝐀𝔹σǗ𝐓 B𝓛𝐀ℂ𝐊 ωⓘ𝓓σฬ, ᗯ𝓗Ɨᑕʰ ᶤ’M şⓊ尺𝕖 𝐄𝓿έ𝕣ץo𝕟𝒆’𝕤 ѕ𝔢ᵉη Ãt 𝕥ʰ𝕚S Ƥ𝑜ι𝓃ᵗ, sσ ωe 𝔡𝕆𝓝’𝓉 яe𝔞Ⓛ𝐥Y ℂ𝐨ᑎς𝐄𝐑ⓝ 𝓞ᑌяѕᗴᒪғ 𝐖ιŦᕼ şPỖƗᒪᗴⓇ𝐒! ţⒽ𝕚ⓢ Ⓦ𝒶s 𝐀 𝔠尺𝕒乙𝕪 M𝕠ν𝕚ⓔ AήⒹpefully it’s still mostly listenable. Again, though, our apologies!

 

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233: Colossus’s Magical Death Stench

In a very, very topical turn of events, this week’s episode is all about diseases and viruses in comic books. So, from the safety of our various bunkers (no, really, we’re all recording remotely, just like a real podcast!), we bring you the sickest episode yet. Do we talk about the Legacy Virus? Uh, you know it. The Clench? Yessuh. D…Death Stench? Yes, though I am honestly not sure why.

Heck, even our Warmup is disease infested, as we do the nastiest Character Storm to date. That, and an earful of news about the many shakeups that the comics industry is going through right now!

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215: These Are My Treads… This is My Spout!

War, man. War. Did you know there are comics about it? Like, a bunch of them? It’s what we’re talking about this week, and boy, we go through a bunch of ’em. Famous ones like Sgt. Rock and Howling Commandos, formerly-unheard-of ones like Captain Willy Schultz (look it up!), G.I. Joe of course, and just about everything else. Because when Superman fails his eye exam, it’s up to the rest of us.

Plus: so much Disney+ news, and the return of Hulk Out or Fake Out, now with 100% more jingle!

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213: The Schist Hits the Fan

Are you ready to get spooked out of your goddamned minds? This week we watch Man-Thing, the hottest Marvel movie of 2005 (look, the only competition it had was that Fantastic Four movie with Michael Chiklis). It’s free on Youtube! You can just watch it! It’s as if they know they aren’t going to be making the other $29 million of their $30 million budget back.

Also: who’s in charge of putting out bad Marvel stickers now, what are the highest-selling comics (and highest-selling places where you can buy comics), and who wants to play the Penguin now?

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186: March Madness V: Madness takes Manhattan

March-o Madness, oooooh yeeeeaaah!!

In this, the fifth edition to our March Madness/August Audness series, we once again pit eight characters against each other, tournament-style, to see who the absolute toughest is, not counting Superman or Goku or whatever.

Also! So much news! So much news, it’ll make you sit up in bed and say “wow, it’s so much news.” News!

Previous Madness Tournament episodes can be heard here, here, here, and here!

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180: Respect My Much Larger Badge

We’ve been bad boys this week, so what are we going to do when supercops (and super-adjacent cops) come for us? What is The Spectre’s hell, how does a lady become a cop, and just who is the man known only as Greenballs? All this and more will be revealed this week on Zero Issues!

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171: Heckblazers

You ever read an issue of The Invisibles…on weeeed? Look, we were going to post this episode ever, but we got soooo high, and, like, we were all whoooooa… I know I’m offending someone with this writeup, and y’know what? I’m sorry that your subculture has been co-opted by bros. It’s not your fault, and I shouldn’t be picking on you about it. I’m sorry.

Anyway we talk about weed in comics this week. Oh and Bry’s asleep, so he’s veeeery quiet.

Sorry.

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160: Phish Speaks to Aquaman

This week it’s all about music in comics! We talk about some existing fictional bands, assemble an X-Men rock supergroup, make just… so many bad superhero music gags, and compile a complete ‘80s soundtrack for the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics. And even sing a few songs! It’s musical madness up in here!!

Also! Some very big news, including the upcoming Batwoman TV series! A “Read This Now” about a surprisingly special Aliens licensed comic! And we create a five-course meal based on ‘90s DC heroes!

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“Face it Tiger” by Married with Sea Monsters (as The Mary Janes)