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149: That Story Not Good Made No Sense

DEATH!!!! It’s all around us. Like cheese and poor customer service, but this week on ZERO ISSUES COMIC PODCAST we’re going head on, face to face, general seriouso, no bull$%#& with comic book deaths….. so …. really…. nothing…. because everyone comes back. Let’s talk about that! Also Kyle does a death quiz that Merk fails at miserably once again but it’s super fun…. to watch him squirm. And Merk does a Marvel trading cards death game! It’s all death all the time this week. Tune in to hear such horribly odd things as ‘Four Norm Macdonalds’, “Mysterios’ juice’, ‘Steel Wool Pubes’, ‘Geoff Johns loves Berries’ and ‘Point Bry-eak’. And warning… it’s starts off super gross and weird…. and gets only slightly less so as we go along. But it’s worth it for all the laughs. It absolutely is!! Join us!!

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148 – Infinity Thrashin

We’re going to spoil you. SPOILERS!!! We’re talking Infinity Warring Gauntlet Avengers thing! We’re talking skateboards, how Thanos wetting the bed is a sing of being a psychopath, just a little CLR and water will get out that cosmic grime and SO MUCH MORE!!! 

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147: Doctor St– Mordrid

This week, we’re talking about the hottest movie for the hottest year: Doctor Mordrid, and 1992. But just what is a Mordrid, and what makes him a Doctor, you might be asking? Well, he’s not quite a Strange, and he’s not quite a mop, but man, do we try to tell you.

ALSO: Nothing! It’s all main topic this week. Get outta here why are you reading this part even.

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146: Enjoy Your Chili Fries… in Hell!

Avengers: Infinity War comes out… wow, tomorrow? But the hype is SO big that we’re here to help you get through the next 24 hours, by dropping the Avengers into other movies to see how they’d handle ‘em! We’ve got Hawkeye in Die Hard, Captain America’s harrowing journey in Trainspotting, Michael Rooker as Yondu in Mallrats, and oh jeez, just so much more!

ALSO: We cook up a ridiculous crossover event on the fly by randomly selecting 1991 Marvel trading cards, and perform an extra-special dramatic reading of the issue where the Avengers met David Letterman! Giant doorknobs abound!

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As mentioned in the show: the Bill Messner-Loebs GoFundMe

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145: Magic Cheers

Whoa! Do we have a show for you this week!?! Yea. We do actually. And it’s pretty magical! We’ve got tons of movie news from Gambit, New Mutants, Dark Phoenix, Rom and a bizarre bit from the Smallville files! Then Bry crushes us with a Thanos quiz (he coulda been a chill Titan) before we launch into our main topic of TV pitches! With the launch of Krypton (ha! Launch!) we make our own offshoot pitches. Who wants to see a sexy teen Pop Tate? Casper, pre-death? Zenn-la, pre-Galactus? Julibee 90210 (does a california mall babe love chili fries?)? Tales of the Mojoverse? Magic Cheers? And a bunch more (seriously, we’re a goldmine, Netflix. We should be showrunners). And we end with Kyle taking us through a Marvel trading card, hulky smashy smashy game! Tune in blue trelievers!

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144: Madness!

It’s back! We’re doing that March Madness thing again. Who’s taking home the trophy this year? Will it be a horse? A bear? A Jax from Mortal Kombat? Probably not that third one, though I think he got robbed, frankly.

We’ve also got hot hot news, try our best to predict the future (Erik Larson didn’t go off on a twitter rant today, did he?) in the Warmup, and play Character Storm in the Moment of Zero!

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Previous Madness Tournament episodes here and here)

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143: April is a Fool

April is a fool!!! Sorry April. It’s just how it is. This week is a mini with a bizarre collection of us being idiots… more than usual…. it’s outtakes & funny bits time! Completely uncensored… you are warned. Enjoy us being stupid.

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142: Creaky Bones and a Jughead Face

This week, the boys are down a member. Bry is off looking for the cure for polio but Merk & Kyle are still here for LIGHTNING ROUND!!! A barrage of quick topics & bits it is! Merk will explain the plot of Dragonball….even though he’s never watched an episode! We’ll talk why Erik Larsen thinks the terrorists are winning, what random characters could make up a new FF, how and why Spider-Man could be renamed Spinnerette, why Aunt May should have her own book, who Vin Diesel could play next in a comic movie (Mr. Leatherbee anyone?), who’s on the worst dressed list, who pees sitting down and FINALLY…. a dramatic read of the holy kind! Join us…. it’s only two of us. We need a third. Otherwise, we’re all out of whack!

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141: So Fresh, So Clean

We’re back and we’re fresher than ever! This week, we have a FRESH START, and talk about the NEW topic of Marvel’s soft reboot. It seems like it’s been a never-ending CRISIS in recent years, but NOW it’s reached a point where, well, have the fans stopped caring? We have POINT ONE or POINT TWO to make about it.
Also: Kyle forces the boys to Character Storm (hey, when’s Bry going to do one of those?), and Merk talks about hot hot indie comic Drinking at the Movies. Finally, the first episode of New Zero Issues Z!

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140: Long Pause, Then a Sawhorse

Oh my! Today is a day the boys travel in time! Whether it’s to tell you the comic news (because it’s recorded several weeks before it airs!), or Bry goes to back over a decade to make a superhero movie better, or we go ALLLLL the way back and talk prehistoric characters…. this is the length they go to to entertain! You’ll hear such bits as…. the super soldier sermon…just going to get space cigarettes baby!… Lex needs a face on his tummy… that’s right, his last name is STEGRON!….his father was a neanderthal who was just set in his ways….this is the 30 seconds we talk about that comic we haven’t read…my favourite part is when they refer to dinosaurs as honkers… How old is Zabu? Cut it open and count the rings…so Tony Shalhoub takes up archery…. AND SO MUCH MORE!!!! Join us, won’t you…

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